LOSE

I very scare that I will lose for people.

You see me from outside, I will make it easy for me, like nothing to me at all.

But,

In my heart is very care about I lose for it.

I know that [translate from chinese] 'People compete with people will let the people die'

But I can't control for it.

Sometimes I know that I din't have place my afford to do it and get a bad result. And that time I only can scold myself that I din't put my all afford to get it.

But sometimes I have put my all afford to done it but also get a bad result or a result worst than a person din't put afford on it. I truly upset and want to give up.

I think I need to control my heart and thinking.