重心

我现在的生活好像没有重心，我不懂我要的是什么，读书是为了赚钱买名牌吗？过上流社会的生活吗？给家里过的更好吗？真的不懂！
没有中心的生活，飘飘的，每天过着行尸走肉的生活，压力的生活，好无趣！
为了读书而读书，真的让我好累！
但是还得走下去，看看别人也是可以过得很好，为什么我就不能？在乎的东西太多吗？自尊心过强吗？妒忌之心太强吗？不能看到人家好吗？总之就是好像不能过我自己的这一关，好累~需要一个能开导我的人。好想改变！在这样下去我快要疯了！！！

发现

I had discovered that the stress I face is form my housemate which study same course with me.
How I discovered? I had two days din't meet up with them, cause when I sleep they go out or playing games and when I wake they still sleeping. And these 2 days my mood be better, but when we meet up my stress come up again. Is it I need to move out and stay alone? If I move out and stay alone will facing more things, need to settle more things by myself.
Don't know why I always thinking this kind of things, it let my heart feel so tired.

压力

自从上了Advanced Diploma, 我的压力从未在我身上消失~好辛苦！
每天都睡不好，和室友又不是很合得来，很压力！很烦！
应该是我住和同样课程的朋友吧~
他们太厉害了！我太笨了！吸收太慢了！
我都不懂能不能继续下去~一度想自杀的念头闪过。
我已经找不到解压的方法了！好累！还想逛街可以解压，哪里懂现在根本不能，一边逛一边在想还没读完，罪恶感！
朋友点出我为什么这样压力，是因为自尊心！
不想请教别人的自尊心！
我应该学习向他人低头接受教导，发问。
但自尊心太强了！很累！很累！
很想死掉算了！

Stress

I just start my Advanced Diploma in Commerce (Financial Accounting) 3 weeks ago, now I already feel that so stress and turf, how I going to finished this program within one year and eight months? Everyday I'm thinking am I able to study in this course? Suitable for me? As what my eldest sister told me before, she said that she not think before I will step in the path to become an accountant, because it is totally is not my style and she saw her friend who work in accounting firm (one of Big 4) is very stressful, all the days only sit in front the table and doing the works. After my sis told me that, I also thinking am I choose a wrong path way? But now, I can't do anything, the only way I can do is continue the program and put effort to succeed.
These few days, I felt so down, cause always thinking am I able to do it or not? My english is so bad and the worst is my soft skills, is so so so bad! Need many improvement on it. I scare to talk to each other, even using mother language. I scare to meet a unknown person, are these reflect action is because I'm not confidence enough? The thing that I most worry is this, soft skills!

Already been Setapak, KL for around 2 weeks, I'm started missing my hometown Penang. Before I came to KL I was thinking KL is so good so awesome, but after 2 weeks living here, I have an action to move back to Penang to enjoy my relax and beautiful life. At KL's life just busy, no friends, totally killing me softly and the expenses is high! I so miss the diploma life in Penang, it was so awesome, but now just can think it back with my memory.

3 November, will be the convocation of diploma, I'm so glad can see almost all my friends is going to graduate with me. Need to prepare for my first convocation in my life. Need to keep fit!!