18 years old

25 December 2011, I already step in 19 years old, become an adult can't do childish things already.

In the year 2011, think back I had done many things that I never do before. All is my first time. First time driving on the street until Penang island from my house, first time shopping alone, first time donate blood, and many many I had forgotten. In the same year I also had use many money, from 1 years old until 18 years old, the most I use is in year 2011. I had buy and Andriod phone and many branded things, need to control myself for the coming year.

This year birthday celebrate with my family and friends also la >.< But got feel a bit 'kong xu' I think is I am too stress in my coming final exam, I scare I can't work well in the exam, can't get a good result, and because of it make me I can't really enjoy my birthday. My birthday night and also Christmas night was alone in hostel, it feel so lonely. Can I get a girlfriend coming year? I think I can't make it next year too, now I'm concentrate on study more than relationship.

A bit feel like want to cry out loud!! I'm too stress!!

This birthday also can be my last birthday if 2012 is true.

Tired

I'm really feel tired living like this.

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Pressure

Am I give myself too much pressure?

Until I cannot control my healthy?

In the serious time for me to prepare my final exam, I was fall sick.

I also feel that I have give myself too much pressure, but I din give myself pressure how I can get a nice result, a nice future?

I know my English is like shit, but I'm trying to improve it, don give me pressure please~ And also no need straightly and told me my English language like shit cause I know it. Don think you own a better English language means that can hold the world. As my friend said, what kind of people you are is important than the human capital you gain.

For this semester all is Level 3 paper, really make me feel pressure!! One of the subject in this semester, my coursework mark just enough for attend the Final Exam, really make me feel nobody can help me, and just to help myself by own. I cannot fail any subject in Diploma, if I fail and means that I din have a qualification to continue my Degree and followings.

Friendship, recently is popular on studying while earn money, and this kind of earning the money is not working at shopping center and is through call friends to join the business, Score A ,easy Pharmax and so on... I'm saw my friends is killing their friends one by one. Sorry for that, that I say until like that~ That is what I truly feel it. Don blame me that I tell my friends to don join the business, I just want my friends. Cause I know when they join it, they will change mind and I will lose many friends that we already have a long relationship. Sorry.

Love. No love for me recently just study is the most important for me. And I will feel very lonely for this year Christmas' Eve Night, cause my best friend is not coming back because of exam and no couple, so no dating just celebrate with my family.

That's all for my shit English!

Miss

I'm so miss you all!! Two years!! We had graduate from Form 5 2 years already!! How long we did not meet again? Although when we meet now will not have anything to talk, BUT I still wanna to meet you all talk about how you are recently. Time really pass very fast. But you all still in my mind, just like happened yesterday. Memories. Got you all in my memories were very good for me!! I'm so happy that I had you all as my friends, accompany me pass all the time, got Happy, got Sadness, got Crazy!! It was make my life wonderful!!!

MISS YOU ALL!!! LOVE YOU ALL!!

[I'm cry]

Scare.

I very scare that I need to repeat the whole paper in my diploma life. If do like that I'm totally no need to proceed my degree and about ACCA do not think about it. I know it was only a small failure in my life and I know many succeed people also said that no failure how to become succeed? but I cannot pass my own, I feel very scare and worry about it. How come this will happen near my big day? I'm totally no mood to celebrate it, and my final exam also will drop at 27 December, wth!!  Become more stress when nearing the final exam, scare and worry. Sometimes, I will ask myself what go I want, and I can answer it! No goals no target in my life!! Do not have them, what is the motivate for me to make my life interest? Really hate myself.

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